Thursday, November 1, 2007

New Segment - Christians Say the Darndest Things

Well, I figured after I heard this one - along with the SCORES of other crazy things I've heard Christians say - I figured I'd add a new segment to the blog. Its a segment called "Christians Say The Darnedest Things." Its a segment where I highlight some of the foolery some preacher has said about culture from the Bible.

For the innitiation of this segment, I'd like to highlight something I heard this weekend from a preacher on Christian talk radio (a well spring of inspiration for this segment can come from there). Since we were approaching the "pagan" celebration of Halloween (check out Mike Servello's post on that, FANTASTIC!), the preacher took some liberties and began to preach about it in a way that would make American Christians want to reject the celebration of Halloween and not participate. So how does he do that? With the Bible? NO! He does it by equating Halloween with something NO good Christian, and probably registered Republican, would want to EVER be associated with - Muslim Jihad!

WHAT?!?!?! That's right folks, according to this guy on the radio, Halloween is the equivalent to Jihad! "How" you ask? Because Halloween and Jihad have a fixation with death, so the two are equals. And if anyone participates in the celebration of Halloween, then they ALSO participate in Jihad. And we all know Jesus doesn't like Jihad. So not only is Halloween anti-Christian, its also anti-American because no self respecting American should want to be apart of Jihad.

So folks, if your kid dressed up as Buzz Lightyear and went door to door to get candy and other childlike pleasantries, you are particpating in Jihad, the destruction of the West, the destruction of Israel and converted to Islam.

I won't even justify this by getting all scriptural. This doesn't even require turning to the pages of the sacred texts to know that somebody has been sipping from the chalace of stupidity! Halloween and Jihad? Give me a massive break! The practice of Halloween wasn't even started by anyone who believes in Allah! Cue the music - "duumb da-dumb-dumb, duumb da-dumb-dumb-duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuumb!"

Halloween is like Jihad, Christians say the darndest things...

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

This post was awesome! You Rock.

Unknown said...

I find christian Radio and TV funny on so many levels. While there are people who have blessed me like TD Jakes, Ed YOun, Brian Houston to name a few, there are an incredible amount of people that im just like who in the world goes to their church and who in the world GIVES them the money to be on TV. Jihaad and Halloween that's classic.